Salty Shenanigans

Over the last three nights I have slept in three different countries. I spent about 20 hours in Chile, and about 6 hours at Chilean borders... But let's talk about Bolivia.

Arriving in Uyuni on Tuesday, ready to start a three day tour of the Salar de Uyuni. It turns out that there is so much more to this area than 10,000 square mile salt flat. For the first two days of the tour, the four-wheel-drives stopped every half hour or so, and there was something new and different to look at, climb on, and take very touristy pictures on. Often I don't get into the whole picture taking side of travel, but I couldn't help myself over the course of this tour, mostly because fooling around on the salt flats and other sites was so much fun.

Our first stop was unexpectedly one of the most fun. It is an old train yard which is now a train cemetery, and more to the point, just a big person playground. Made all the more exciting by the ever-present possibility of tetanus! 

What's down there Hunchback?

Dunno if that arse is gonna fit through there

I think that's meant to say fuck the police

Salar de Uyuni was the next stop. It is the biggest salt flat in the world, formed from an ancient lake having dried and leaving a layer of salt that reaches twenty meters at some points. The altitude of the salt flats doesn't vary any more than a meter over the whole 10,000 square meters, that's some flat salt!

Salty selfies

Classic

I think I've mentioned how handstands have become a thing

The Aussie flag was inaccessible, probably because of idiots like me, Chile had to suffice

Over the next two days we all stopped at various rocky playgrounds and toxic lagoons, until on the second night we arrived at a natural hot spring. It was good, until it was discovered that there was an old lady selling beer, then it was absolutely fantastic! The night was spent watching the stars and listening to people older than me nostalgically relive 80s television.

Trying my hand at Panorama

Muy frio! Y muy guapo

Hopefully you all enjoyed this gallery. over the next few days I will continue in my endeavour to cross the continent by bus, and intend to spend around 36 of the next 48 hours on buses until I can return to the beautiful beaches of Florianopolis.

Deadly Downhill

G'day Viewers!
In the last week I have entered and exited Bolivia, in the process seeing some of the most incredible and diverse landscapes in the world. But before that... I rode down Yungas Road, the worlds most deadly road.
Starting in La Paz, I was unaware that Bolivia was one hour ahead of Peruvian time, so from the offset I was slightly behind the eight-ball. We got to the starting point at 4700 meters above sea level and had a coca tea and talked about the day ahead.
We were to ride about 62 kilometres along the road that has claimed the most lives out of any. In the process we would drop to a lung-filling 1200 meters.

So off we went, with very light heads and very numb extremities. Hurtling along the first part of the road faster than any of the cars was an experience. The first twenty kilometres is sealed road, and all guides seem to think that their passengers are Cadel Evans, so they set a mean pace along there.

Fairly happy to have stopped at this corner

Once we'd reached the real stuff, the pace slowed down, but the 100 meter vertical cliffs made sure that there was no drop in adrenaline. With the mountain on the right, and turning to the right, there was always a small feeling of "I'm gone", but you get used to it. The guides stopped periodically to tell us where some of the notable deaths had happened, including 12 people on mountain bikes in the last twenty years. The worst ever incident was when two tour buses collided head on and 102 people died. Our whole group made it to the bottom injury free, which now seems more impressive since I was told that another group that day had six stacks, including one from the guide.

What better way to debrief than with some out of date and warm Bolivian beer

The Death Road in Bolivia was an incredible adrenaline rush, and something definitely worth doing while in La Paz. Having said that, the road was not as dangerous as I had envisioned. The roads were wider than Top Gear might have you believe, and the cliffs are steep and high but there are rails in most of the worst spots.

How'd ya go Zac?

Old Mate getting some cheap giggles

The next day Steph and I boarded a lovely little bus, completely suitable for the unsealed and heavily potholed roads to Uyuni. This was the launching spot for the salt flats tour. Talking about the salt flats involves a lot of photos of me generally being a dickhead, and I know that that's exactly what you all want! So it is another post for another time. Stay tuned!

Puerto Mosquito.. I mean Puerto Maldonado

Gday viewers!
Plenty has been happening, however not a lot to post about.
Since Arriving back in Cuzco after surviving the Inca Trek, travelling life has turned back to the bed hopping, sketchy food eating, sardine-taxi way of living. And that's just fine by me! There was also a short stop over in the Amazon jungle.
Our flight was greeted in Puerto Maldonado by a short sharp downpour just to remind us that we had stepped in to the jungle in rain season. After seeing that, the rest of our jungle stay was in fact quite dry, comparatively.

The first wildlife encounter

Gecko's normal lodge was approximately five foot underwater, so we were bumped up to a better, and higher lodge. The bar was good, the food great, and the wildlife even better. Wild Guinea Pigs were often seen scrounging around, and if you're a regular reader of Steph's blog, then you'd already know about the few different species of monkeys which could be seen from the hammocks in our rooms.
The first day we trekked in our very fashionable gumboots to a 37 meter lookout tower. We slugged our way through thick jungle, and even thicker Mozzies. When we reached the top it was made apparent that it was definitely worth every bite. At the top you could see over the jungle all the way to the horizon, without a building in sight. We could see monkeys jumping around below us, vultures circling above the river, and we were lucky enough to spot Macaws flying in threes, with their beautiful reds and greens on full display in the sunset.

Best spot in the jungle

The next day was a long one. Days are made longer when you have to rub every part of bear skin every 20 seconds, or the average length of a mosquito bite. On a lake near the river, we attempted some Piranha fishing, and maybe my luck had run out, but all I could manage was one dismal sardine. Considering we put half a cow on hooks, we probably should have bared more fruits of success. Our luck was reinstated when a six-foot otter swam right up to the boat, and through the reeds that we were anchored in. None of our guides had seen one up that close before and, just ten minutes earlier, were stoked to see a spec through the binoculars. Now we could make out which of the ten people on board it was looking at.

No piranhas, just huge sardines!

The only worthy wildlife picture I took

Later in the day we ventured to a premium Macaw watching area right on the river... usually. With the abnormally high rivers the hut had about a foot of water, and had been about four foot under the day before. Standing in the almost knee deep water, and seeing not that many birds, was a problem for these two fun and outgoing cousins with shorter than average attention spans. The mud was just asking to be smeared on faces right?

Ferals

Since returning to a more civilised part of Peru, I have spent a few days with some friends from Melbourne, which has been very refreshing. Most the time has been spent drinking beer, which has been very refreshing.
Tomorrow Steph and I leave for Bolivia, I am hoping to mountain bike down the death road (google image it) but as of this moment still undecided.

The Machu Picchu Pilgrimage

G'day viewers! Okay, with all that emotional stuff out of the way, lets talk Inca Trek!
The morning after an epic karaoke session, in which I performed Ricky Martin, Shania Twain and The Backstreet Boys (questionable choices, I'm fully aware), we boarded an eight hour bus. We arrived in Cuzco so long ago now that I cant really remember when it was. We have visited Cuzco the way that I prefer, staying four nights and really getting a good feel for the place. If we had only stayed one or two nights here, I may never have realised that if I wear my most hipster clothes I can get offered cocaine up to six times a night!

Livin' la vida loca

The city itself is beautiful. Having been the capital city in Inca times, many of the buildings still use the foundations laid more than five hundred years ago. It has definitely been the hardest city to navigate and get my bearings, and travelling with three women means that they are usually reliant on the one male's directions, its just genetics.

Plaza de Armas(tands)

Stand and smile average is going up

On Friday we set off for the town of Ollantaytambo, a sort of base town for launching into the Inca Trek. We met our porters very briefly here and realised just how large a bag with 25kg of stuff is. Some of the porters just wear their sandals and they all do this awkward bent over shuffle along the path, but it is very effective!

The start of the trail

The first day of the trek is considered the 'training day', and maybe I didn't properly prepare myself  mentally after hearing that because the two hours at the end of the day were some of the hardest of the lot. We made it to camp and had a more formal introduction to our 'Angels'.

Our porters, cook, and guides. 13 staff for the four of us

The second day we were to climb to our highest point. At almost 4300 metres, Dead Woman's Pass really took some doing. At the top we waited for Dianne, who was not lagging all that far behind. That's when I got all girly about my admiration of her, but you know all about that already.

Tomas and 'his girl'

Top of Dead Woman's Pass

Gran is beating the porters

Day three was challenging for me, due to about 75% of the day being steep downhill. Gran, Steph and I all had potentially troublesome knees but nothing went wrong and we made it to our third campsite to enjoy our final delicious meal prepared by Luciano, using only the bare essentials in kitchen equipment. Day three also provided the most beautiful and unexpected moment of all. We were lead by our guide, Tomas, with our eyes closed to a lookout point. When we opened our eyes, before us was the most incredible view of waterfalls, steep mountain sides, and beautiful Inca ruins called Wiñaywayna. The name means 'Forever Young' in the local language, and although it comes from an orchid that grows nearby, it seems absolutely suitable a name for these ruins. They were discovered even later than Machu Picchu and with hardly anyone at the site, the beauty was overwhelming. A great present for Gran on her birthday.

Winaywayna

The beauty of Winaywayna

Day four, the final day, we were up at 3.30am, and then waited until almost six for the gates into the World Heritage Site to open. After two comparatively easy hours of walking, we reached the Sungate, where we expected to get our first glimpse of Machu Picchu. The 'Cloud Forest' lived up to its name, and we couldn't see ten meters in front of us. We waited and waited, and received a quick lesson in the correct pronunciation of Machu Picchu. 'Machu Pick-choo' means Old Mountain, whereas 'Machu Pitchu' means Old Penis, no one wants to hike for four days to see an old penis.
At the start of the tour, I was delegated as the Chosen One. Being born in the dry season, I could control the weather and make rain go away just by blowing as hard as I could in the direction I'd like the clouds to go. So as we stood in thick cloud at the Sungate, I was called upon to clear the skies and reveal the wonders which lay behind.

Just making sure everyone had a clear day to check out Machu Picchu

I couldn't stop looking at this mountain, its incredible. Named Happy Mountain

The rest of the day was spent exploring the magnificent ruins, the perfection of the stonework. Most of the time was actually spent just wondering, 'how the fuck did they get that rock up there?', a question that still plagues me. Other stonework reveals that these people understood the summer and winter solstices, which suggests they had a calendar, and other rocks were carved in a way that when the right shadow was cast, it revealed the Andean Cross. There is no true evidence that Incas had a written language, but Tomas seemed pretty sure that there must be somewhere, and I think I agree with him.
Machu Picchu, one of the new wonders of the world, is an amazing place. The history and beauty, combined with so many engrossing unanswered questions, make it a truly fascinating place.

Stand and smile, Definitely something to smile about

Celebratory pisco sours

Wearing my sacred green shorts to these sacred grounds

My Gran

I know this heading looks like it might be written by a six year old whose grandmother has come to his primary school after being invited to bake cakes. Its sort of similar, except my grandmother came to South America after being invited to walk 42 kilometres to Machu Picchu.

Most of my beloved followers would right now be expecting some sort of wrap up of the Inka Trek which we have just completed, don't worry that will come. I sat down to write and realised that there was something more important to me than that, and that was to say how proud I am of Gran. 

She has followed her two oldest grandchildren around the world, participated in a tour designed for '18-35 year olds' and walked a trek that most people in their twenties struggle with. 

On day one she battled with a small dose of altitude sickness to climb steeply for two hours to the first campsite. Day two presented the not-so-aptly named 'Dead Woman's Pass', rising to 4300 meters above sea level. Gran had it conquered in less than four hours. The hours of downhill walking over irregularly shaped rocks, in the steady rain, didn't phase her on day three, her birthday. And day four is a story for another time, probably tomorrow.

Gran's open mind and no fuss approach is what I really admire the most. Many of our cheapest laughs come at her expense and she always can laugh along with us.

I feel genuinely lucky to have the opportunity to do amazing things with my grandmother, and standing at Machu Picchu with her and Steph is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.